Pete Hegseth: 'There Are No State Secrets In A Healthy Relationship' (satire)

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Published: April 21, 2025

WASHINGTON—Staunchly defending his decision to share sensitive military data in messages to his wife, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth told reporters Monday, “There are no state secrets in a healthy relationship.” “Communication is key in every strong marriage, and that includes communication about airstrikes on foreign adversaries,” said the Pentagon chief, who called the mere idea of withholding classified information from one’s spouse “toxic” and “unhealthy.”

“In fact, when I told my therapist we were attacking the Houthis, the first thing he asked me was ‘Did you tell your wife?’ The real scandal would have been not telling her. I mean, if she’d had war plans, I would’ve wanted her to text me.” Hegseth added that the best marital advice he had ever received was to never go to bed without saying you’re going to bomb Yemen.

https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-there-are-no-state-secrets-in-a-healthy-relationship/