Spurious News: All five MLB teams still in the playoffs agree to not visit the White House
SEATTLE (Spurious News Network) -- Put five Major League Baseball managers in the same room and about the only thing they'll agree on is that baseball is a great game.
With King Donald Trump in the White House, the five MLB managers still in the playoffs agreed on something else: there's no damn way any of them is going to visit the White House if they win the World Series.
"It's not safe for us to do that," said Los Angeles Dodgers manager Dave Roberts. "All five of us have several Latin American-born or Asian-born players on our 26-man rosters and more on our 40-man rosters. None of us would put it past Trump to have (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) agents stuffed in the Oval Office closet to deport these guys the second we walked into the room."
Chicago Cubs manager Craig Counsell elaborated: "Pat (Murphy, manager of the Milwaukee Brewers), John (Schneider, manager of the Toronto Blue Jays) and I all have six foreign-born players on our 26-man rosters. Dave has seven. Dan (Wilson, manager of the Seattle Mariners) would really be in a world of hurt if his foreign-born players were all kidnapped by ICE - he has ten. We understand that being invited to the White House after winning a championship is a great and long-standing tradition, but with Trump trying to kick half the country out of the country the possibility of losing a quarter to a third of your 26-man roster in an instant to Trump's xenophobic vendetta isn't a risk any of us feel comfortable taking."
"John's got a bigger problem," said Dan Wilson. "His team is based in Canada. Trump wouldn't care if the team is full of US-born players - which it is. The only Canadian-born player on John's 26-man roster is Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who was born in Montreal while his Hall of Famer father was playing for the Expos. Drop him and the six Latin American-born players out of the equation and you're looking at nineteen US-born athletes. Trump would ship the entire team off to El Salvador because it's fairly obvious he doesn't give a crap about anything, especially federal law that says you can't deport Americans."
That no MLB team will visit the White House after they win the World Series doesn't mean they won't get to meet a president after they win. "President Obama has agreed to visit whoever wins the Series during their victory celebration," said Craig Counsell. "President Obama is a great person and a great baseball fan. Okay, he's a White Sox fan but that's fine, they deserve love too. In 2016 we won the Series and the 2016 edition of the Cubs met him in the White House, and had nothing but good things to say about the experience. He will remain in the clubhouse while the team is meeting their fans because he understands that day will be about baseball, but he'll be there for us."
= new reply since forum marked as read
