Broken News: Trump Puts out Call for Garage Bands at UFC

[MineralMan]

Donald Trump is desperate over cancellations by performers he invited to perform at his UFC event outside the White House. So many have canceled that he has posted an ad in the DC area Craig's List, inviting garage bands from the local suburbs to contact him. The ad reads:

Garage Bands Needed for White House Appearance. The exposure is worth millions to you, so this is an unpaid gig. Contact the White House switchboard and provide contact information. Audition Tape Required.

[malaise]

1. Love it

Rec 😀

[LetMyPeopleVote]

2. This made me smile

[paleotn]

10. Lynyrd Skynyrd? I thought they were all dead?

[maveric]

11. Not even close to the original band.

Ronnie Van Zant’s brother fronts it. He’s a trumper.

[justaprogressive]

3. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

an UNPAID gig!!!

We call those "showcases" scummy practice by cheap bar owners who don't want to pay anyone!

[MineralMan]

5. Of course! Think of the exposure, though!

Nationwide. How could you say no to that?

On a serious note, though, sometimes it works. I was a member of a woodwind quintet. We decided to start playing for pay. Where? Well, wedding receptions came to mind. So, when we saw an announcement about a "wedding fair," we contacted the people operating it and asked if they'd like to have a musical group playing background music somewhere during their event, at no charge. They said yes.

So, we went to it, set up in an entry area that everyone passed through and basically had our weekly rehearsal there. We put on our performance fancy clothes and played for four hours. We had a small sign, identifying us, and a business card dispenser next to it.

Did it work? Oh, yes. We started getting gigs at receptions right away. Our music was a mix of classical, pop, and other recognizable stuff. We even had a version of "When I'm 64," which was a big hit at those wedding receptions. Once we started working, the bookings increased, and we also got parties, events, and other bookings. That free performance at the wedding fair made us some really good money over time.

[justaprogressive]

7. It's the company you keep

...there is such a thing as the wrong sort of exposure...

[Goonch]

4. ;-{) THE BAND

[lastlib]

12. Misprint on the sign!

They left out the "B" in "GARBAGE".........

Happy to help!

[Rebl2]

6. Those performers

were for the state fair music festival that is in late June, not UFC disaster event.

[Wiz Imp]

8. The cancellations are for the "Great American State Fair" on July 4, NOT the UFC event on Trump's birthday.

[Ray Bruns]

9. The exposure is worth millions to you, so this is an unpaid gig"

[The Roux Comes First]

13. So He's Reduced to Competing With the Onion?

Or is this just a truly pathetic wail??

[Figarosmom]

14. Unpaid gig that will ruin them.

But I bet some will answer the call and have stars in their eyes.