Silly Young People! Everything In The Future Will Be Wonderful, With Lots Of AI, Says JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon

[hatrack]

Chin up, everyone. Things may seem grim at the moment but a billionaire has swooped in to reassure everyone – particularly impecunious young people – that everything is going to be OK. Better than OK, in fact. According to JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon, despite the current economic and political instability, gen Z should be grateful for what will be a very bright and AI-enhanced future. “These kids, anyone who’s depressed – as long as we don’t have nuclear war – they’re going to have an unbelievable life,” Dimon said in a recent interview with Fox News. “People say the next generation’s in bad shape,” he added. “Really? They’re going to inherit a country that’s worth two [or] three hundred trillion dollars. They’re probably going to live to 120; AI is going to cure some cancers … They shouldn’t be bemoaning their situation.”

I am not a gen Z kid by any means – I am a geriatric millennial with creaky knees – but I’m definitely depressed about the state of the world. And I’m sorry, Mr Dimon, but I’m not going to stop my moaning. To be clear, I’m not trying to say I know better than the “King of Wall Street”. I am a humble freelance journalist, not a titan of industry. I don’t know how to run an enormous financial institution that rakes in huge profits during the good times and gets bailed out by taxpayers during the bad times. I would never presume to know more about economics than the CEO of the biggest bank in the world.

But there are a few things that I do know that Dimon, for all his infinite wisdom, doesn’t seem to have fully grasped. When you are a billionaire with a collection of palatial homes, someone who crisscrosses the world in private jets fraternising with other members of the 1%, you can quickly become a teeny bit out of touch. Insulated from normal-people problems by your bags of money, you can lose sight of some very basic issues. And that means when you go on Fox News and tell everyone how great everything is, you can sound like a bit of a pillock.

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Some of these recent graduates will struggle for a bit and then inherit assets from their parents and be fine. This is the so-called Great Wealth Transfer that Dimon was alluding to when he was talking about gen Z inheriting trillions. But not everyone has rich parents who are going to leave them a bunch of cash. Indeed, according to one analysis, the top 1.5% in the US will account for 42% of wealth transfers through 2045. The Great Wealth Transfer will simply exacerbate inequality. Dimon is right that some gen Zers will lead unbelievable lives of unparalleled luxury: they’ll go on rides around space, have access to cutting-edge medicine, and may well live until they’re 120. They’ll reap all the benefits of technological advances. But the “they” that Dimon keeps referring to are going to be a privileged few. AI will be utilised to save some people’s lives and – this is already happening – be harnessed by military contractors to shorten other people’s.

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https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/apr/15/dont-worry-gen-z-a-billionaire-boomer-says-your-lives-are-going-to-be-great

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[-misanthroptimist]

1. I'll have whatever he's drinking!

In fact, make it a double.