But If Elon Sperms All The Babies, All The Babies Will Look Like Elon :(
"Guh-rossest article ever."
Evan Hurst
Apr 16, 2025
Let us be clear: If you have heard any Unfounded Rumors on the internet about Elon Musk’s penis, like maybe it got thumped off in a drive-by dick-thumping accident or a botched hair plug surgery — WHATEVER — this Wall Street Journal article will not disabuse you of any of those Unfounded Rumors, as it does not address them specifically, but it does say he had sexual intercourse with a human woman for breeding purposes at least one time.
And if you wanted confirmation that Elon Musk only has the 14 or so babies he has publicly acknowledged and no more babies, then ooh boy, this is the wrong article for you.
But if you were looking for confirmation that Elon Musk is the sickest, grossest, weirdest, most disgusting, most off-putting creep alive, if you wanted more of a reason to be worried he’s trying to get the whole world pregnant by shooting laser beams out of his ugly little beady eyes, then yep, Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal has a new article (gift link!) about Elon’s disgusting breeding fetish that’s got you covered!
Which … that says something to us right there, that Rupert is publishing this. He wants America to know how disgusting Elon is.
The article is called “The Tactics Elon Musk Uses to Manage His ‘Legion’ of Babies—and Their Mothers,” and yes, he calls them his “legion.” And there are, um, lots more of them than he admits, sounds like. Lots more. Lots.
Continued https://www.wonkette.com/p/but-if-elon-sperms-all-the-babies
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