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The Borowitz Report: JD Vance to Represent Satan at Pope's Funeral
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/jd-vance-to-represent-satan-at-popes
VATICAN CITY (The Borowitz Report)—JD Vance will represent Satan at Pope Francis’s funeral this weekend, the Devil confirmed on Thursday.
In a rare public statement, the Prince of Darkness said that he could not attend the funeral himself because it conflicts with a Tesla board meeting.
Explaining his choice of Vance, Beelzebub said, “If you can’t have me, JD is the next best thing.”
But longtime Vatican-watcher Harland Dorrinson criticized Satan’s decision to send Vance, noting, “With Trump in attendance, this seems like overkill.”
- short article, no more at link -
In a rare public statement, the Prince of Darkness said that he could not attend the funeral himself because it conflicts with a Tesla board meeting.
Explaining his choice of Vance, Beelzebub said, “If you can’t have me, JD is the next best thing.”
But longtime Vatican-watcher Harland Dorrinson criticized Satan’s decision to send Vance, noting, “With Trump in attendance, this seems like overkill.”
2 replies
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"Conflicts with a Tesla board meeting".......
