The Borowitz Report: Zelenskyy Suggests Trump Give Florida to Russia

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/zelenskyy-suggests-trump-give-florida

KYIV (The Borowitz Report)—Giving helpful advice ahead of peace talks in Alaska, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy suggested on Monday that Donald J. Trump offer Vladimir Putin “full sovereignty” over the state of Florida.

“If you are considering some kind of ‘land swap’ for peace, Florida should be on the table,” Zelenskyy said. “With Florida, you have cards.”

Explaining his rationale for a Russian annexation of the Sunshine State, Zelenskyy said, “There are already so many Russian-speaking people there, especially the oligarchs and criminals around Mar-a-Lago.”

Speaking from the Kremlin, Putin said he would “consider” an offer of Florida, but only if it did not include ownership of Ron DeSantis.

- short article, no more at link -

At least give him Palm Beach, where no Democrats live within 10 miles of Mar-A-Lago.

Giving Putin the entire state of Florida might be a little too much. But he can have Palm Beach.... And it's a warm-water port, too.

[mike_c]

1. sweeten the deal...

...and throw in Texas, too.

[slightlv]

2. They're already operating under Russian Communist laws,

why not just give them the state(s)! Better than the hypocrisy of the "United States."