US Attorney Boxwine Bad At Indicting Ham Sandwiches

[Zorro]

Oh hey, Donald Trump has a plan he thinks he can replicate to attack every American city where non-white people live and that didn’t vote for him? Ha, well tens of millions of us can play that game. Which ones of us? Whoever gets called for federal jury duty, in any jurisdiction where it’s necessary.

The hilarious news broke today that US Attorney Boxwine of Washington DC — previously Judge Boxwine — cannot even get a ham sandwich indicted. Everybody is making the exact same obvious joke, but that’s because it needs to be said, because we are talking about the Case Of The American Hero With The Sandwich, the incident caught on tape where a guy named Sean Dunn responded to Donald Trump’s terrorizing of Washington DC by hitting a goon fed thug in the face with a soft, delicious submarine sandwich. (The fed died, just kidding the fed immediately started waddle-chasing after the guy and a band of tubas started playing, it was a whole thing.)

DC US Attorney Jeanine Pirro, who is missing a two-for-one margs and apps special at Chili’s for this, tried to get a grand jury to give her an indictment in the case. There’s even a purported, alleged confession from the perfect angel who did it. “I did it. I threw a sandwich.”

And the grand jury in DC, without prompting, said “Sandwich? I don’t see a sandwich,” and fucked off on out of there as legends.

Kids! You can try this at home, wherever your home is! Any place there is even a whiff that the case they’re trying to get you to indict and/or convict is tainted by being part of the Trump Nazi regime’s 24/7 terrorist attack on the United States, just say no. They talk about being sand in fascism’s gears? How about grinding fascism to an absolute fucking halt.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/us-attorney-boxwine-bad-at-indicting

[Farmer-Rick]

1. That is hilarious

But really did that stupid ice agent really think he was under attack by a sandwich? Then they go and do a raid on the poor guy in the middle of the night to scare the crap out of him. ICE agents learn early how to be good little Nazis. What a bunch of incompetent cowards.

[niyad]

4. Nah, they are good little nazis who become ice thugs.

[tanyev]

2. Oh, how I love Wonkette. 🤣 🤣 🤣

Haha, that is true, a grand jury in Los Angeles also did this, refusing to indict anti-ICE protesters, and the idiot US Attorney out there, Bill Essayli, ooh he was GRRR BIG MAN STOMPY STOMPY FOOTSES MAD!

[LetMyPeopleVote]

3. Grand jury declines to indict man who threw a sandwich at federal officer in D.C.

The former Justice Department employee, who threw a sub at federal officers in Washington and came to be known as "Sandwich Guy," wasn't indicted on a federal felony charge.

Grand jury declines to indict man who threw a sandwich at federal officer in D.C.

The former Justice Department attorney who threw a sub at federal officers in Washington, and came to be known as "Sandwich Guy," was not indicted on a federal felony charge.

www.nbcnews.com/politics/pol...

— Raymond Norman (@raymondnorman.bsky.social) 2025-08-27T16:08:26.164Z

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/grand-jury-declines-indict-sandwich-guy-threw-sub-dc-federal-officer-rcna227464

WASHINGTON — You could get a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, the saying goes, but, in Washington, a federal grand jury just declined to indict a man for throwing a salami sub.

The grand jury did not return an indictment against a former Justice Department employee who was seen on camera throwing a hoagie at the chest of one of the federal officers President Donald Trump has deployed in the nation’s capital, according to two people familiar with the matter.

The grand jury’s decision not to indict Sean Dunn is another sign of pushback from Washington, D.C., residents over Trump's deployment of the National Guard and other federal law enforcement agencies in the city, who have put a particular focus on immigration enforcement. The New York Times was first to report the news.......

It's not the first time federal prosecutors have had trouble getting a Washington-based grand jury to indict a resident who opposed the new law enforcement presence in D.C. Federal prosecutors failed to obtain an indictment of a woman who was arrested for allegedly assaulting an FBI special agent at an immigration-related protest, the Times reported.

It is highly unusual for grand juries not to indict, given that the standard is probable cause rather than beyond a reasonable doubt as it would be at trial, and because grand jurors typically hear only from prosecutors.

[DinahMoeHum]

5. Classic example of standing on a brick. . .

. . .to kick a duck in the ass.

And even then, trump's feds miss the mark most of the time.

[Skittles]

6. ".........grinding fascism to an absolute fucking halt"

BRING IT

[LetMyPeopleVote]

7. Deadline: Legal Blog-It matters why the grand jury in D.C. declined to indict sandwich thrower Sean Dunn

There are different ways of reading the stunning action by a Washington grand jury amid Trump’s federal crackdown on the nation’s capital.

Link to tweet

https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/deadline-legal-blog/dc-sandwich-thrower-grand-jury-indictment-decline-matters-rcna227748

We know that a grand jury in Washington refused to indict sandwich thrower Sean Dunn. But we don’t necessarily know why.

It’s a stunning result with serious implications no matter what motivated the rejection. Yet, what those implications are, exactly, could depend on the rationale for refusing to approve a felony charge against the man who became a folk hero in D.C. amid the Trump administration’s federal crackdown in the nation’s capital......

But something bigger may have been at play: jury nullification. That’s when jurors believe that prosecutors have proved the technical elements of the case but, nonetheless, the jury renders a moral objection by way of a not guilty verdict (or in the case of a grand jury, a “no true bill”).

To put the question one way: Did grand jurors think the government did a bad job, or a bad thing?.....

Importantly, we have more than Dunn’s case to go on in analyzing this phenomenon. There’s the even more shocking recent failure of D.C. prosecutors to get an indictment against Sidney Reid a whopping three times. She was initially charged under the same federal assault statute as Dunn. After striking out in the grand jury, prosecutors reduced her case to a misdemeanor, which doesn’t require grand jury approval.

Let’s assume for a moment that grand jurors in both the Dunn and Reid cases just thought there wasn’t enough proof to charge them with felonies. The known facts of both cases certainly allow for that possibility. Through that lens, the message to prosecutors is that they need to more carefully evaluate the quality of cases they bring.

But if the message is that the people of D.C. are declining to approve charges despite the evidence presented to them, that’s something that should worry prosecutors even more.

I am personally voting that both cases are jury nullification and Piro needs to worry if she takes these cases to trial.