The Borowitz Report: Trump Honors Those Who Helped Others Avoid Service at Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-honors-those-who-helped-others-152

QUEENS, NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In what has become a Veterans Day tradition for him, on Tuesday Donald J. Trump laid a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Podiatrist.

Trump made his annual pilgrimage to pay homage to the heroic doctors who issued bogus diagnoses to ensure that their privileged patients never answered the call of duty.

In an emotional tribute, Trump thanked the fallen foot specialists who bravely risked their medical licenses so that others facing military service could be free.

Choking back tears, he said, “They gave everything so people like me could give nothing.”

- short article, no more at link -



Andy Borowitz would never dream of mocking real veterans, however he doesn't hesitate to make fun of the bonespurs asshole.

[markodochartaigh]

1. In reality Trump has again said that he wants to change

Veterans Day to Victory Day.

The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.

Philip K. Dick

[FakeNoose]

2. Or we could go back to calling it Armistice Day

In Germany, November 11th is (traditionally) the first day of Fasching.

Here in the US we mostly call it Mardi Gras, but ours doesn't start until a few days before Ash Wednesday.

[Paladin]

3. Thanks to Borowitz for nailing it, yet again.

And "Victory Day"? Fuck that shit.