The Borowitz Report: Trump Boasts That His Funeral Will Have Much Bigger Turnout Than Cheney's

[FakeNoose]

Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-boasts-that-his-funeral-will

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump boasted on Thursday that his funeral will draw a “much bigger crowd” than former Vice President Dick Cheney’s.

“Dick Cheney, who was a loser and a terrible person, will be lucky to get a thousand people at his funeral,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “My funeral will draw MILLIONS!”

Remarking that “nobody cares” about Cheney’s funeral, Trump said he expects the turnout at his funeral to set records, noting, “Every day, people say to me, ‘Sir, I can’t wait for that day to come.’”

- short article, no more at link -

Andy Borowitz started a tsunami of comments on website today... everyone commenting how they will celebrate Chump's death. I think maybe Andy has been lurking on Democratic Underground?

I have no regret over Dick Cheney's death, but I often wonder this: Did Cheney ever finally realize that his corruption and misbehavior as Vice President eventually led to the evil that we're having to endure in our White House now? I hope he did, and I hope he's enjoying his time in hell.

[Attilatheblond]

1. LOL only if it's open casket & we can bring pins to make sure he's actually dead

Oh, and have the men's room locked to people have to piss on him

[generalbetrayus]

3. Pins? How about wooden stakes?

[generalbetrayus]

2. The water tank at Orange Julius Caesar's golf course gravesite will run dry from all the people filling up on water

before visiting his gravesite.

[Blumancru]

4. Sure. Give the public what they want and they will turn out in droves.

[marble falls]

5. Can't wait to find out. I'm free all this week and next.

[Deep State Witch]

6. It Makes Me Sick

To think that Cankles McTacoTits will get the full State Funeral package when he dies.

[kacekwl]

7. I don't know about the funeral but

the world will be celebrating in record numbers no one has ever seen.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

8. Maybe if you install a public toilet or two that empties into his casket

[FakeNoose]

9. Yep, cut out the middle man