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marmar

(80,071 posts)
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 09:52 AM Jan 2026

Man caught in 'sexual performance' with vacuum, deputies say




OSCEOLA COUNTY, Fla. – An Oviedo man was arrested this week after he was caught engaging in a “sexual performance” with a vacuum cleaner, according to the Osceola County Sheriff’s Office.

In a release, deputies said they responded to Grassendale Street in Kissimmee’s Windsor Hills Resort on Jan. 22 after receiving reports of a man “exposing his sexual organs in front of a residence.”

“The victims that observed this behavior provided a statement and a cell phone recording of a male, partially clothed, in front of a residence, engaged in a sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner,” the release reads.

However, deputies said the suspect had already left the area before a deputy could arrive.

Further investigation revealed that the suspect and his wife were listed as the hosts of an Airbnb and a home in the Windsor Hills Resort, deputies added. ...................(more)

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2026/01/28/central-florida-man-caught-in-sexual-performance-with-vacuum-deputies-say/




23 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Man caught in 'sexual performance' with vacuum, deputies say (Original Post) marmar Jan 2026 OP
Well, that sucks PJMcK Jan 2026 #1
😆 Walleye Jan 2026 #3
Rim Shot FalloutShelter Jan 2026 #4
I'm not going to say it. NT mahatmakanejeeves Jan 2026 #2
He picked her up on the curb mercuryblues Jan 2026 #5
That's beautiful😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ray Bruns Jan 2026 #10
Florida man..... ABC123Easy Jan 2026 #6
He sings "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Hoover" as they take him away... Ocelot II Jan 2026 #7
LOL! Ritabert Jan 2026 #9
Just empty the canister, Bannister... Harker Jan 2026 #12
Turn off the juice, Bruce... rubbersole Jan 2026 #13
I'm still working on "Electrolux." Harker Jan 2026 #14
Gonna have to drop a syllable or two on that one. rubbersole Jan 2026 #15
That's a good approach! Harker Jan 2026 #16
Or switch to Paul Simon's "Cecilia". rubbersole Jan 2026 #17
Ooh, and good ones, too! Harker Jan 2026 #18
Take Off The Tux,... ColoringFool Jan 2026 #19
That's it! Harker Jan 2026 #20
Ya don't need a tux if you own an Electrolux? Conjuay Mar 28 #22
When your life just sucks, get an Electrolux! Harker Mar 30 #23
JD Vance likes the upholstery attachment Blue Owl Jan 2026 #8
No doubt the vacuum seduced him rurallib Jan 2026 #11
Someone hide the milking machine. Xavier Breath Jan 2026 #21

mercuryblues

(16,515 posts)
5. He picked her up on the curb
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 10:05 AM
Jan 2026

Last edited Thu Jan 29, 2026, 10:52 AM - Edit history (1)

And swept her off her feet. Now he treats her like dirt.

rubbersole

(11,277 posts)
13. Turn off the juice, Bruce...
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 12:55 PM
Jan 2026

..oh, god. I'll be doing this for an hour.
Must. Get. A. Job.

😖

Harker

(18,155 posts)
16. That's a good approach!
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 02:42 PM
Jan 2026

Oddly enough, the late Lux Interior of The Cramps popped up briefly while I was working it.

Another angle would be to include it as a substitute in the "don't need to discuss much" line.

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