Florida Man Gets Pulled Over Because Even In Florida, You Can't Have Missiles Mounted On Your Truck

[mahatmakanejeeves]

[link:https://www.jalopnik.com/2135567/florida-man-missiles-on-truck/
|Florida Man Gets Pulled Over Because Even In Florida, You Can't Have Missiles Mounted On Your Truck]

BY NICHOLAS WERNER MARCH 31, 2026 1:25 PM EST


Florida Highway Patrol

The Florida Highway Patrol pulled over a missile truck last week. No, not an official HIMARS artillery system — we mean a Ford Maverick pickup truck sporting a brace of rocket-propelled ordnance in the flatbed. When the cops went to go see who the driver was, they were stunned to discover that it was none other than a Florida Man! Perhaps still reeling from crashing a Mustang through an airport fence, Florida Man (this time going by the alias Michael Nipper) insisted his DIY missile truck was entirely benign and harmless. The highway patrol responded by calling in the bomb squad, the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, the Plant City Police Department, and the Plant City Fire Department to set up an emergency perimeter.

Astoundingly, local NBC affiliate WESH reports that the bomb squad confirmed Florida Man's assertion that these were merely plastic models he'd assembled from a kit. He slips away once again! Nipper claimed these models are for "shows and events," whatever those might be, per CBS News. The police more or less told him to knock it off, as they'd received a number of calls from concerned locals. He'll have to transport his missiles another way, and there's a sentence you just don't read very often.

{snip}

[Wicked Blue]

1. This made me think of the Bruce Cockburn song "If I Had a Rocket Launcher"

"If I had a rocket launcher
Some son of a bitch would die"

[Seinan Sensei]

2. "Right to bear arms" y'all

In this case, arms =
military hardware and ordinances
As in “arms dealer” or “arms agreement “

(where’s that sarcasm emoji?)

[Rincewind]

3. Not sure what the one in the

back is, but the one in front, the AIM120, is a 4 inch diameter PML AMRAAM. It's what we call a high power hobby rocket. I know, because I have one. I also have the smaller, 3 inch diameter version.