For CBHagman: It happened in 2007. My primary care doctor had moved away to be closer to her aging parents. Apparently the new doctor didn't read my chart before my first visit with him or he wasn't aware of a new study saying it was not safe to recommend a patient on Blood Pressure medication take a Niacin supplement. He wanted me to take the Niacin to lower my cholesterol further. Unfortunately the first time I took it, it lowered my Blood Pressure to a dangerous level.
I had gone out to dinner with my mother and sister about an hour after taking the niacin for the first time. I started feeling overly hot, and very strange. It was early March, so I went and sat outside for a few minutes in the cold. Then I went back in and said, I really don't feel right. My sister paid the bill and we had just made it out the door, when I felt my legs give way beneath me. At first I felt the cold side walk underneath me.
Then oddly I was laying in a field of sunflowers looking up at a bright blue sky. I felt the sun's warmth and I was able to look directly at it. That's when the feeling of overwhelming love and peace came over me. I felt myself being lifted towards the sun, and the words, "I am going home," came into my thoughts. I felt joy at this.
Then I heard my mother crying out my name and begging me not to leave her. I also heard my sister saying,"please come back." A part of me didn't want to, but they sounded so sad, I thought I have to go back. The next thing I felt was my head being tilted back, and I came to. There was a paramedic who was just going into have dinner with his son, and he rushed over to help. He was apparently going to start CPR, my sister told me later, because I had no pulse and had stopped breathing.
My sister had called 911 and an ambulance came and took me to the hospital. Luckily the cardiac surgeon the ER doctors consulted with knew exactly what happened when they read the list of medications I was taking. I was admitted.
The next morning, the nurse who was assigned to me, ran over and hugged me. She said the night nurses told her I coded 4 times during the night. I wasn't aware of it at all. I was told I was now out of danger because the niacin had worn off and my blood pressure stabilized. She said the minute I got home I should find kitty litter or something to bury the rest of the niacin in, throw it in the garbage, and never take it again.
I never forgot how wonderful that love and peace felt, though. I just hope when it is fully my time, I will be able to feel it again and complete my journey. I know there are those who believe it's the subconscious dreaming, as your body shuts down. I respect that, but those feelings were like nothing I'd ever experienced. In school I was picked on, had several cruel teachers, and was criticized a lot my whole life. I felt like while, I knew my family and some friends cared about me, it was always tinged with a disappointment with me as well.
Those few minutes I was in that valley between life and death was the only time I ever felt truly and unconditionally loved. I can only believe it came from the God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit!
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