Are You a Closeted Atheist, or an Open Atheist? I mean, do you fake it sometimes?

[NNadir]

Full confession, I do.

I actually had my first son baptized in order to keep members of my family at peace, a small sacrifice.

When I go to my fundamentalist Sister's-in-law house, I bow my head during "grace."

I have participated in Hindu rituals at work.

I don't feel I'm hurting anyone by so doing and in fact, sometimes I feel as if I'm doing good.

I suck it up, "turn the other cheek," if you will allow me some of their mythology.

At the time my father was dying, I made an argument for accepting his death because he was, in fact, terminally ill and there was no hope. I knew this as a scientist. This dose of reality made my crazy brother, something of a religious scammer, very angry, and during a session with the social worker, a Nun, in front of my deeply religious (Catholic) stepmother (who I loved deeply) he screamed that my views held no worth, since as he yelled at the Nun, "He doesn't believe in Jesus Christ!" (How my brother, with whom I increasingly had no relationship knew this truth about me, I don't know. It's not like we were intimate friends.) To comfort my deeply religious (Catholic) step mother, I joined her in her chapel when she was in prayer. It gave her peace. I have never regretted that white lie.

What about you? Are you "in the closet" as I am often, or "out."

My atheism, as a heterosexual male, is a root cause of my deep empathy for gay people who must - let's be clear, it still happens - be closeted.

[Srkdqltr]

1. I am polite and respectful. My family is also.

[joshdawg]

2. Out as an atheist.

I make no bones or excuses for it. I am atheist and if I step on anyone's toes by saying that, then they should not have had their toes out to be stepped on.

[NNadir]

6. I certainly respect your view. I'm not there myself, but I respect it.

[Nigrum Cattus]

3. I say I'm not religious, I'm philosophical about my morals

[buzzycrumbhunger]

4. My family was also seriously catholic

… but it was a huge relief to me when I was asked to stop coming to catechism classes in 4th grade because my uncomfortable questions were a “bad influence” on the other kids. I went through confirmation because my mum would’ve been mortified (her side of the family was ridiculously catholic in all things), and then I knew I was home free when she’d apparently noticed I’d been reading Crowley and then the easter bunny left me a book with tarot cards in my basket (I was 14 but we continued the farce because of a younger brother). I was left in bed on Sunday mornings from then on. *smirk*

I don’t make a big deal out of my atheism (though I will post snarky memes because I’m a bitch and like to keep.my religitard friends at arm’s length). I think more people think I’m a witch and don’t delve beyond that, which does seem to weed out a lot of people who might try to foist their religion trip on me.

I don’t think I ever faked, even when I was very young. Pretending now would just be weird. There are other ways to be friends that don’t include faking a belief system for them.

[CrispyQ]

9. "... the easter bunny left me a book with tarot cards in my basket..."

Omg!!!

Pretty sure that will be THE funniest thing I read all day. 🐰 I tried faking for one year in high school & learned, to thine own self be true, or get crushed. You're not really part of the tribe if you're not being yourself.

I gave all of my Halloween costumes away this year to a high school drama department except my witch costume! Happy Sunday!

[Bayard]

17. LOL at that last toon!

If someone asks me, or tries to finagle me into some religious thing, I say I'm an atheist. The bewildered or horrified looks are worth it. That being said, I am respectful of other's beliefs, especially at weddings and funerals.

I resent people who will start praying at the drop of a hat with no warning. My Mennonite veterinarian used to do that in Calif. I went to a land auction here a few years ago, and that's how the freakin' auctioneer started the bidding.

[Collimator]

10. Wish I had the ovum to be a bitch.

Unfortunately, I have "Resting Librarian Face", or maybe "Resting Customer Service Face"' people are always turning to me for help or answers, or just to chat to pass the time.

I'm probably more in the Agnostics camp, but I will sometimes tell people that I'm an Atheist if they mention god in a conversation because it usually puts them off and then they leave me alone. It didn't work a week ago with a guy at McDonald's, though. Instead, he actually drew in his breath and uttered the opening salvo of, "Well, the way I see it is. . . ", as if I had invited him to start a philosophical discourse.

Since I hadn't ordered my food yet, my knee-jerk response was to say, "No, no-- You know what--" (I was really talking to myself out loud), and then I walked out. And thanks to decades of social conditioning, I felt like I had been rude and had to work through vague feelings of guilt.

I finally decided that I had been hangry and the guy should have known better than to try chatting up somebody waiting for food. (He was also an idiot for ignoring my earlier social cues indicating that I Did Not Want To Talk.)

To get back to the main question, as long as I am well fed there is a 50/50 chance that I can keep my mouth shut when religion rears its head in public. Thanks to years of socialization and customer service training, I know how to be gracious and accommodating. . . Also thanks to years of working in customer service, I have prematurely run out of fucks to give.

I may not have the courage to be a bitch, but cracks are appearing in my benign personality and hints of bitch are seeping through, often to be patched over with a thin layer of Catholic Guilt. . . Even as I write this I can see how contradictory I am being-- I probably just need something to eat.

[buzzycrumbhunger]

22. I think being female adds another layer...

We’re mostly raised to be meek, self-effacing, self-sacrificing, helpful, givers, and all that other submissive crap. Learning to be a bitch when it’s called for is not a bad goal to have. It can be really liberating, especially when you realize the world doesn’t collapse when we’re successful at it.

I raised my daughter to skip over all the societal crap and she’s so beyond me evolutionarily I wish I’d been her when I was growing up.

[IbogaProject]

41. Standing up for yourself isn't "bitchy"

Sorry you got bullied like that.

[BigmanPigman]

45. Over the course of my life every Atheist I have met

was raised in a Catholic household, except for one.
I am an out Atheist and proud of the fact that I can discern between fiction and non-fiction.

*When I was studying to pass a multiple subject test to become a teacher the encyclopedia said that Catholicism was a cult. I think ALL religions are cults. They are found in places where hypocrites can join be together and lie, steal and cheat while people look the other way since they donated $10 bucks to some religious organization.

[gay texan]

5. In some certian circumstances i will show respect

If your cool, im cool.


But if I'm openly preached to for my pride gear, my "lifestyle", etc, i'm going to.be a five alarm asshole back.

In the summer of 1992 i was acosted by wingnut xtian for cranking Boston's "Don't look back" in my car at full volume. Ever since that incident, you have to earn respect from me.

[NNadir]

8. I certainly am not "closeted" with complete strangers. I'll do it to avoid pain for people I love.

[gay texan]

25. Yes.....

I can tell you that I've never had a problem with other religions. Muslims want to know if im hungry. I've been fed by random muslims. Sikh also did the same and directed me to the best damn hole in the wall Chineese resturaunt in Toronto, CA. (That in itself is a wildly funny story because i pulled up in front of a temple on a motorcycle). Christanity in the bible belt brings out the worst of people

[rurallib]

40. I am pretty much where you are

I got some I fear might really freak out if they confirmed my atheism. One SIL who might go over the edge.

For strangers or non-family I let it all hang out.

[CrispyQ]

7. Seems only other heathens would be aware that you didn't bow your head.

I generally keep my eyes cast downward & don't look around the room, but I don't bow my head or clasp my hands. There are a couple of holy rollers in my family who took advantage of grace, to preach. One was my BIL & I looked up at him but his eyes were closed so I looked around the room & caught the eye of my sister's best friend & we just grinned at each other. We've been good friends since.

[Woodwizard]

11. I do a fair amount of woodworking for churches.

But I do not participate in any of the rituals. A few very large jobs I did go to opening mass after spending months on restoration projects.

I was brought up Catholic none of it ever interested me.

[twodogsbarking]

12. "When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called a

religion." But hey, who am I to judge other's delusions.

[NNadir]

13. I like that locution. Hopefully you will not be offended if I steal it regularly.

It's not like there's a god to punish me for my theft.

[IbogaProject]

42. Epicurean paradox is another zinger

The Epicurean paradox is a logical dilemma about the problem of evil attributed to the Greek philosopher Epicurus, who argued against the existence of a god who is simultaneously omniscient, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent.

The logic of the paradox proposed by Epicurus takes three possible characteristics of a god (omnipotence, omniscience, and omnibenevolence – complete power, knowledge, and benevolence) and pairs the concepts together. It is postulated that in each pair, if the two members are true, the missing member cannot also be true, making the paradox a trilemma. The paradox also theorizes how if it is illogical for one of the characteristics to be true, then it cannot be the case that a god with all three exists.[1] The pairs of the characteristics and their potential contradictions they would create consist of the following:

If a god knows everything and has unlimited power, then it has knowledge of all evil and has the power to put an end to it. But if it does not end it, it is not completely benevolent.

If a god has unlimited power and is completely good, then it has the power to extinguish evil and wants to extinguish it. But if it does not do it, its knowledge of evil is limited, so it is not all-knowing.

If a god is all-knowing and totally good, then it knows of all the evil that exists and wants to change it. But if it does not, it must be because it is not capable of changing it, so it is not omnipotent.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicurean_paradox

[NewHendoLib]

14. I am out as an agnostic

[eppur_se_muova]

15. I feel safely out with professional colleagues, but very closeted with family. Religion strong on both sides of the tree

I even have a couple of pastors among my cousins, one of whom changed careers late in life.

My extended family is so large, it complicates things. I don't want to have to keep up with who's "in on it" and who isn't.

I notice we've never had an atheist POTUS, and I think only one member of Congress --- THAT WE KNOW OF. The current occupant of the Oval Office is certainly a CINO, but doesn't suffer for it. If he declared himself an atheist -- which might be more accurate than his own claims -- it would be the most explosive news of the year (much more so than all that extrajudicial killing and stuff).

[NNadir]

19. I suspect that Thomas Jefferson was an atheist. I also believe, although he clearly was changed by the Civil War...

...that Lincoln was at least agnostic for parts of his life. He was not a regular church goer at any point in his life. His intellectual power came from reading, and it is certainly the case that in his youth, one of the only books available to him was the Bible. His mind was certainly powerful enough to understand that nonsense was nonsense.

His beautiful second inaugural speech of course, contained clear, overt, religious references, but I don't think up until the war was well on that he adopted a religion and it seems to me, that it was possibly metaphoric. He was, up to his death, a deeply troubled man, and it is normal, to my mind, for many people to embrace religion as a crutch in moments of extreme anxiety. People seem to need that suffering has some deeper meaning. I don't believe it does, but I understand people who do so need that crutch.

The orange pedophile is clearly an atheist to my mind, which is not to say that his atheism reflects on the rest of us, who can be ethical without reference to a god. There is no evidence that he ever seriously believed in any god other than money, despite what the MAGA Christian right cultists - who his managers use quite well - think.

[NewLarry]

36. with TFG...

I wouldn't call him atheist necessarily, he just doesn 't give a fuck about anything but himself. Claiming Christianity gets him more than claiming anything else would.

[AllyCat]

16. Closeted. I'm afraid if MAGA and the crappy fundies.

[Eko]

18. I am an out Atheist.

But that always feels odd to say, I mean we don’t expect people to tell others that they are a “don’t believe in something” type of person. One doesn’t label oneself a non Santa Claus believer, shoot even flat earthers are flat earthers and not non-circle earth people lol. Calling yourself something by which you are not is an odd thing. I am a human, not a non-insect.

[anciano]

20. Closeted agnostic

[mike_c]

21. utterly out

I don't have much patience for magical thinking.

[no_hypocrisy]

23. Unapologetic atheist.

How open?

At the rehearsal dinner for my brother's wedding, our father was really pissed at me because I wouldn't take his side. What was his side? He was pissed because my brother/his son had converted from Judaism to Sufiism (i.e., mystical Islam). Personally, as long as my brother was happy and that was his Truth, I didn't find anything offensive. But our father was angry in the tradition of our "Dear Leader". So in the traditional Freudian defense mechanism of "transfer of hostility", I was the new target. And I had just about enough BS. Dad was now on the topic of my brother would use his influence so that I would convert as well. Flatly, I responded that I didn't think that was going to happen. My father parried, how could I be so sure. Inwardly sighing, I "came out" and told him that I was an atheist and there was no God. Expecting this to finalize my exclusion from his Will, I was wrong. Dad said that was great. (Of course, great not because I was an atheist, but in his eyes, I wasn't going to convert. My father had a tendency not to make sense and this was another occasion.)

[NNadir]

24. An interesting story. Your father could accept your atheism just so long as you weren't Muslim.

I think my mother, who died when I was a young man, knew I was an atheist. How, I'm not sure. I know this because my aunt relayed to me, as my mother's mind was failing owing to her brain tumor, that my mother's last wish was that I believe in God. It was, to be sure, an impossible wish to fulfill. Leave it to my mother to make an unreasonable last request.

In the years of agony over my grief from that whole scene, which was very ugly, I did do a lot of reading on religious theory, Alan Watts, the early work of Elaine Pagels, some others. If anything, it made me secure, ultimately, in my atheism.

[no_hypocrisy]

26. Oh, there's more. I "came out" to my mother.

She was unimpressed and told me not only was she an atheist, but her mother and grandparents were atheists, and that made me fourth generation. She was mad at my brother at the wedding for having ANY religion.

And one more thing: I literally walked away from Judaism when I walked out of Yom Kippur services in 1984. Yep, the "High Holy Day"/Day of Atonement. I wasn't sorry. I didn't sin. And why was I intoning prayers? Nobody was listening.

[Skittles]

27. I consider myself agnostic

I detest religion but I confess I don't know the answers so it's all a big MEH to me. It really doesn't come up much. When I've been to dinners where they say Grace I do bow my head, not in belief but to be respectful to my hosts. And I talked a coworker into letting his parents have a christening with his baby.....he, like me, did not believe but I told him, it means a lot to your parents and it's just a ceremony, there's no harm in it. When they are gone you will regret being so obstinate, just accommodate them (he did)

[NNadir]

31. That's pretty close to where I'm at. n/t.

[Girard442]

28. I was closeted when my parents were alive.

They're gone many years now. My sibs are all MAGAts. We've never talked about it, but I make no pretense of being religious anymore. They can believe whatever they want to believe. In the age of Trump, I am all out of fucks to give.

[GreenWave]

29. If they are obnoxious in my place, they cannot do what animals do.

Such as eat, drink, sleep etc.

[multigraincracker]

30. If ask I often say I'm a Red Letter Christian.

Can’t find much I disagree with in his quotes.
However I will point out that there little to historic proof of him. The Romans kept very good records. Those events don’t show up.

[LogDog75]

32. I openly admit I'm an Atheist

I try to respect other people's religious beliefs and practices. I've been to memorials in churches for those who died, dinners where a blessing is given, and while in the AF official functions where a benediction was given. I don't bow my head or say "grace" but I'll sit at "attention," not moving, saying anything or doing anything that would interrupt the ceremony.

Unlike some religious people, I don't go door-to-door selling my religious beliefs. I don't initiate conversations on religion or my religious beliefs. One thing I won't do is let someone try to force their religion on me or try to intimidate or humiliate me because I'm an Atheist. When they do, I'll give it back to them more than they give to me.

If people, especially Christians, want respect for their religion then they have to show respect for those who don't share their beliefs, like us Atheists.

[sinkingfeeling]

33. Out.

[tblue37]

34. Open atheist.

[oberle]

35. Closeted church musician atheist

I was raised Universalist, but began playing the organ at 12. I have had many church jobs over the years, and at 77 am still an organist/choir director. I certainly keep my atheism to myself and have for years. I will play for any denomination that pays me.

[NNadir]

37. Every Christmas, my wife and I travel up to Bethlehem, PA for the Lehigh University Christmas Vespers.

The Choir director there until recently - he retired - was the magnificent Steven Sametz.

The Vespers are done as a Christian Service, complete with readings from the "Gospel." At points in the "service" the audience is requested to sing along with the "hymns," which I do.

I love, absolutely love the event, which I regard as theater. Sametz is a genius.

It's held in the University Cathedral.

I strongly suspect - but do not know - that Sametz isn't a wild eyed Christian. During the year, his music was, when he was directing the Lehigh choir, eclectic, from many cultures.

[wysimdnwyg]

38. I'm respectful to others, but...

I’m very open about my position. I’ll hold hands during grace (if that’s done), and of course will be silent, but I will not bow my head or otherwise take part. If anyone unaware of my position asks me to do anything such as saying a prayer or otherwise religious, I will refuse and explain that I’m atheist. It can start a conversation, but I’ve rarely encountered anyone who wasn’t respectful of my position. I give respect and expect it in return.

[IbogaProject]

39. Yep I don't seek it out but I will participate if I go

My mom ran the sunday school at the Episcopal church I grew up in. Two things made it clear it was less than certain for me. One when I was very young we were reviewing the Ten Comandments, and the No Graven Images came up, and I asked for clarification, and then I pointed to the crucifix with Jesus on it and the teacher didn't have much to say, I realized even the teachers were not infailable. Second was a couple of years later, and the priest gave a sermen against reincarnation, and he litterally said it can't be true as you might come back as a chicken. That was so off the wall it really made the believability a stretch.

[NNadir]

44. It's rather amazing that our experience is so similar.

My Dad - who only had an 8th grade education was Superintendent of the Sunday School. (He set the record for raising money for the new Sunday School building.) My mother (with a 10th grade education) was a Sunday School teacher.

And yes it was an Episcopalian church.

With my parents I was in the atheist closet, and I was "asked" without really a right to refuse, to teach the 5th grade Sunday School.

I did it straight for two or three Sundays for my class which was all boys. I could see they were bored out of their minds. I told them if I had unanimous consent, we could skip the lessons and discuss any topic they wanted to discuss, so long as everyone agreed to keep the decision between us. They all agreed and that's what we did.

It seems in retrospect that I could have gotten in huge trouble, but I never did.

A funny thing was that in my folksinging days, I became fascinated with the great guitarist and singer Josh White, whose repertoire consisted almost entirely of spirituals. I had renditions of a few of his pieces in my performances. Why, I can't say. I just liked the music. My aunts told my mother when she got sick that I couldn't be an atheist because I sang and played those songs. They didn't realize that I used to also have a version of Joni Mitchell's "Woman of Heart and Mind" without being a woman.

At my mother's funeral my aunts wanted me to sing and play some Josh White tunes. I declined, but I did set up a record player to play a Josh White album of his rendition of "His Eye Is on the Sparrow."

I sing because I'm Happy.
I sing because I'm free...

It was a very beautiful piece of music.

That was an occasion where I faked religiosity. It was the least I could do for my father and my aunts, who had done so much to carry me through those terrible times, taking care of her as she died.

That was decidedly not a time to assert my views on faith or lack thereof.

It is notable that many of them prayed, brought in religious talismans so on and so on as my mother laid dying. The result of that experiment is that my mother died, which didn't change their hypothesis that a powerful and personal god exists in their minds but validated my hypothesis that no such being existed.

[Envirogal]

43. I am out because I want to normalize non-believers

I was raised very Catholic and remained Catholic myself until my mid 20s. I worked with several people that were talking about being agnostic. I had never even heard of the term and so I asked and was shocked to know that they didn’t believe in God. I wondered if they were devil worshipers because what else was there if you didn’t believe in God? I may have been freaked out by it, but it certainly created a leak in my bubble and began to question things myself that had been buried. Then the dominos fell.

When everybody in your personal and professional circles all believe similarly, you are in a comfortable bubble. But it also makes people afraid to question anything or come to terms with their own doubts. So I feel as my personal duty to not shy away from it and to make it known when there are comments or gestures assuming I am in their club. I don’t preach or attack, just very respectful and mater of fact.

As a vegetarian for as long as I’ve been an atheist, I’m quite used to people freaking out about vegetarianism and making an issue with me all the time. In my hometown in the Midwest, it’s still quite unusual but not most restaurants have options (was t the case 30 years ago) and where I live now it’s not even an issue. That is called progress. My estimate is that at least half of religious people either fall into the category of complacent and naive, or suppressive their questioning because they don’t feel they have a right to. By me making it known, I might possibly be reaching those people. The people that freak out at me just have to deal with knowing people are different. Win win.

The more others know about questioning their faith and understanding that being an atheist is not scary, but it’s very pragmatic and uses critical thinking skills, then more acceptance in society will come. If we are ashamed of it and hide then things will never change. Especially with this march towards religious fascism and theocracy.

We literally have seven Supreme Court justices that are Catholic. Catholicism only makes up 20% of the population and that’s declining more so if the attack on immigration continues. I don’t even know if we have any atheists in elected office. It’s one of the last accepted forms of bigotry in society. You could be a felon, a philanderer, and a traitor but as long as you fake Believe in Christianity, you can be accepted. Atheists are very feared and it is up to us to be like other marginalized groups, and fight for our acceptance.