Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

maveric

(16,906 posts)
Fri Apr 4, 2025, 12:01 PM Apr 2025

It's been a year today since my sweet Patti passed.

Is it supposed to get any better? I still feel sadness. We spent 18 years together and I still miss her so much. Our house is full of her. I haven’t given her clothes away yet. I miss sleeping and waking up with her… I miss seeing her and talking to her. I miss her comforting touch…

Fuck cancer!

12 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
It's been a year today since my sweet Patti passed. (Original Post) maveric Apr 2025 OP
I am sorry for your loss LetMyPeopleVote Apr 2025 #1
Yes, it is supposed to get better. biophile Apr 2025 #2
Thank you so much. maveric Apr 2025 #3
There is no timeline for grief. Be good to yourself. LoisB Apr 2025 #4
I should. Thank you all. maveric Apr 2025 #5
I'm sorry for your loss Demdummy Apr 2025 #6
I'm sorry for yours as well. maveric Apr 2025 #7
It takes quite some time from what I saw with my father. NNadir Apr 2025 #8
I may look into a support group. maveric Apr 2025 #9
Grieving groups are a saving grace. Clouds Passing Apr 2025 #11
Hugs and comfort maveric Clouds Passing Apr 2025 #10
Grief is a process, kozar Apr 2025 #12

biophile

(811 posts)
2. Yes, it is supposed to get better.
Fri Apr 4, 2025, 12:29 PM
Apr 2025

But the time that grieving process takes will vary from person to person. Good luck - may your patience be rewarded with peace of mind.

Demdummy

(13 posts)
6. I'm sorry for your loss
Fri Apr 4, 2025, 01:15 PM
Apr 2025

It’s been 15 months for me! She battled back from cancer twice but the 3rd time took her fast. I cried every day for the first year. 3 months short of 50 years for us so I know I’m a lucky man, just wanted it to go on forever!

NNadir

(36,163 posts)
8. It takes quite some time from what I saw with my father.
Fri Apr 4, 2025, 01:52 PM
Apr 2025

He joined widow/widowers club, where he met his wonderful second wife. What I liked about then is the deep respect paid to each other's first spouses.

This may or may not be for you. I feel as if I had to give my father a push in that direction, telling him, unsolicited, that I thought it would be a measure of what love meant to him to seek to love again.

Everyone has to find their own way in grief. I'm just saying it because I worried I'd lose my father to his grief.

I have told my wife that when I die, I hope some other man will share in the depth of her love.

May you find peace.

kozar

(3,184 posts)
12. Grief is a process,
Sat Apr 5, 2025, 06:10 AM
Apr 2025

Its an abstract process, with no hard rules or time lines.
Was talking to my Mom, yesterday, and she enlightened me a bit, Dad died in Nov. MrsK 3.5 years ago,Lil, coming up on a year.
She asked me why i sleep in a recliner, I told her, " it doesn't matter, how many new sheet sets, or comforters, I buy, when I lay down in that bed, I smell Lil and MrsK."
Mom said " that's because, you loved them, and they loved you, I just talk to Dad, when I get those feelings."
Im gonna try that, after all, it's Mom, and as she still tells me often,
Moms are always right.

Koz

Latest Discussions»Support Forums»Bereavement»It's been a year today si...