General Discussion

Lazy Daisy

(928 posts)

108. Here's an idea

Sat Apr 21, 2018, 11:19 AM

Apr 2018

How about Mr. by the book mind his business? Was it his job to monitor parking spaces? I think not.
Unless he knew by face and name who's parking space it was (which clearly he didn't) he made an assumption that a black woman didn't belong in that space and felt entitled to tell her so.

The sad thing about it, the experience probably didn't teach him a thing.

"why didn't she just tell him who she was" - why should she have to answer to him? Again, was he the parking lot attendant? Did he have authority over parking spaces? No. He just thought he was entitled to tell another person what they can and can't do.

Nevermind the proper way SHE should have handled it, the proper way HE should have handled it was to just mind his business. If she indeed did not belong in that space as he suspected, the rightful parker would have rectified the situation when they arrived.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

160 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

DUers of Color: Tell Your Story [View all] EffieBlack Apr 2018 OP

Have to commend you for handling that in a professional manner.. HipChick Apr 2018 #1

Thanks for the opportunity, EffieBlack Glorfindel Apr 2018 #2

I hope I can ask a question without sounding racist.... usedtobedemgurl Apr 2018 #3

That's an excellent question EffieBlack Apr 2018 #5

Thank you so much... usedtobedemgurl Apr 2018 #7

I think that he would have been less bold in confronting a man if he was alone.... bettyellen Apr 2018 #102

Nope, there's no racism in Baton Rouge! Croney Apr 2018 #4

A teaching moment for my son mercuryblues Apr 2018 #6

Black female here happy feet Apr 2018 #69

K&R ehrnst Apr 2018 #8

I am white and female. I was promoted rapidly when I was quite young. Tipperary Apr 2018 #9

Great story - thanks for sharing it EffieBlack Apr 2018 #15

You are absolutely right. I am gay also, and I was never in the closet. Exhausting yes. Tipperary Apr 2018 #19

You ignore them mercuryblues Apr 2018 #57

Yes, women and minorities are used to be questioned and challenged. raccoon Apr 2018 #32

If you had been a white male, you probably spooky3 Apr 2018 #79

True - but if I'd been a white man, he wouldn't have assumed I wasn't supposed to be there. EffieBlack Apr 2018 #81

Two examples of snap decisions being required 'in the moment.' BobTheSubgenius Apr 2018 #85

bullshit heaven05 Apr 2018 #146

Thank you for sharing your experience. Nitram Apr 2018 #10

Thank you for sharing that story. MineralMan Apr 2018 #11

I am white. When I was 18 in '68 I had a black roommate as a freshman panader0 Apr 2018 #12

I'm constantly told I don't belong in my own country IronLionZion Apr 2018 #13

IronLionZion - Please do not let ignorant dolts keep you from achieving.. HipChick Apr 2018 #30

Thanks! IronLionZion Apr 2018 #34

"I love white liberal hippies, but they also irritate me endlessly. " irisblue Apr 2018 #39

I like tie-dyed shirts and birkenstocks and activist marches and yoga IronLionZion Apr 2018 #40

SO you breaking up with this woman was equal to female genital mutilation???? 7962 Apr 2018 #118

That's the brutal patriarchy we live in IronLionZion Apr 2018 #121

Thank you for posting this and sharing your story geardaddy Apr 2018 #14

EffieBlack - thank you! lark Apr 2018 #16

I'm learning that white people make a whole lot of culturally racist assumptions. yallerdawg Apr 2018 #17

In Jr. High my class read a book, safeinOhio Apr 2018 #18

I also read that book in high school Ohiogal Apr 2018 #27

That book opened my eyes too. Amaryllis Apr 2018 #74

As a young white enlisted man I bought a mobile home from an African American Sargent... 40RatRod Apr 2018 #20

A few years ago I was shopping with a sister in north Florida a day or two before malaise Apr 2018 #21

Wow that's kind of shocking FakeNoose Apr 2018 #91

No she wasn't accusing me of anything - it was a lovely blouse malaise Apr 2018 #92

Sorry - I read that incorrectly FakeNoose Apr 2018 #93

The way I see it, touching me when you don't know me is malaise Apr 2018 #95

An interesting story but how is it indicative of race? Egnever Apr 2018 #22

Gladly, not one person is arguing that. In fact, you'r the only one mentioning it. LanternWaste Apr 2018 #23

You are not following directions EffieBlack Apr 2018 #24

I don't do directions well Egnever Apr 2018 #25

Clearly you do not. That is certainly your privilege. EffieBlack Apr 2018 #26

Post removed Post removed Apr 2018 #28

You may think you recognize racism, tonedevil Apr 2018 #41

"I honestly just don't understand racism. It makes no sense to me." BumRushDaShow Apr 2018 #42

Clearly. ehrnst Apr 2018 #62

That's too bad.. they would Cha Apr 2018 #76

that's for sure heaven05 Apr 2018 #148

"That spot is reserved!" Bok_Tukalo Apr 2018 #31

This message was self-deleted by its author Egnever Apr 2018 #33

Congraduations. Billy Jingo will be resting with the fishes soon. marble falls Apr 2018 #50

He was a surly cuss Bok_Tukalo Apr 2018 #53

He surely was. He got a LOT of attention! Glad to have you back. It made a big difference for me.... marble falls Apr 2018 #54

Because it happens so much along racial lines...because people make assumptions about status JCanete Apr 2018 #55

I have seen heaven05 Apr 2018 #149

Not equating being ginger to being black, but... moriah Apr 2018 #71

Right. And it's just coincidence that the two young men kicked out of Starbucks pnwmom Apr 2018 #88

LOLWUT betsuni Apr 2018 #89

Here's an idea Lazy Daisy Apr 2018 #108

I think she handled it exactly correctly. She owed him nothing in the way of explanation or Squinch Apr 2018 #110

++ heaven05 Apr 2018 #150

What a perfectly ignorant and dismissive post. Not sure how it took so long for you to get flagged. Squinch Apr 2018 #109

Well, your post is informative, for sure. MineralMan Apr 2018 #116

you are kidding heaven05 Apr 2018 #147

K&R WhiskeyGrinder Apr 2018 #29

Yes, there are so many... forkol Apr 2018 #35

You never really get over these experiences. cyndensco Apr 2018 #38

I grew up white in the suburbs of Indianapolis radical noodle Apr 2018 #36

My story cyndensco Apr 2018 #37

A few experiences RandomAccess Apr 2018 #43

Did you live in Stone Mountain? Behind the Aegis Apr 2018 #44

I didn't live in the village, but in the larger postal area RandomAccess Apr 2018 #45

Neat. I haven't come across anyone who lived there since I lived in GA. Behind the Aegis Apr 2018 #46

Are you still in Ga? RandomAccess Apr 2018 #47

Nope. I live in OK. Behind the Aegis Apr 2018 #48

I lived in the valley heaven05 Apr 2018 #151

K&R sheshe2 Apr 2018 #49

Per my point, but she surely was driving a nice car of some sort, yet Eliot Rosewater Apr 2018 #59

No. sheshe2 Apr 2018 #60

I will listen for a while, thanks...But as to the garage experience, you clearly would have been Eliot Rosewater Apr 2018 #51

I would appreciate DU'ers of color stopping by my thread and leaving a comment mnhtnbb Apr 2018 #52

Around 1960 we took a trip justgamma Apr 2018 #56

"People have to be taught racism" but we're born with white privilege. blaze Apr 2018 #61

I can confirm your thesis happy feet Apr 2018 #72

Obligatory posting of "You've got to be taught to know how to hate" from South Pacific: betsuni Apr 2018 #90

My grandpa was white U.S.A. Wild West. hunter Apr 2018 #64

"I didn't know people were prejudiced against Mexicans" misanthrope Apr 2018 #68

I like the way you seemed to intentionally NOT tell him who you were or that that space.... George II Apr 2018 #58

Few DUers of color left it seems ismnotwasm Apr 2018 #63

It was TRESPASSING damn it! As a white person I can always depend upon the police to bring justice. hunter Apr 2018 #65

You got that right. murielm99 Apr 2018 #66

Many of us got fed up with being whitesplained, lectured to and dismissed by "progressives" EffieBlack Apr 2018 #70

This is a different kind of story. qwlauren35 Apr 2018 #67

This may not entirely be on topic, but the guy who mows our lawn... moriah Apr 2018 #73

I think of myself as not being racist, but have become incresingly aware over the years of white Amaryllis Apr 2018 #75

As an Asian American I was given crappier work to do torius Apr 2018 #77

Im sorry this happened and have no doubt it was racism spooky3 Apr 2018 #78

Thanks for sharing this - I'll take a look EffieBlack Apr 2018 #82

Well, here are two. spooky3 Apr 2018 #84

I had a boss who had a doctorate. robbob Apr 2018 #104

Thanks. But the point of the story was that the spooky3 Apr 2018 #105

K&R for visibility. lunamagica Apr 2018 #80

Welp Afromania Apr 2018 #83

I haven't read the entire thread so I don't know if this video has been posted but this right here- tulipsandroses Apr 2018 #86

Interesting to get a little tiny taste of this if you're white when you live in another country. betsuni Apr 2018 #87

Shit happens to me all the time. Queen of the Iceni Apr 2018 #94

Showing ID at the grocery store to purchase beer/alcohol FakeNoose Apr 2018 #97

But I wasnt purchasing alcohol. I wasnt even at the check-out. I was sitting down by Queen of the Iceni Apr 2018 #98

Then yes, it was rude and inexcusable FakeNoose Apr 2018 #99

Someone was telling me recently that the store checked the IDs of everyone w/the one who was buying Honeycombe8 Apr 2018 #144

These are all such thought-provoking stories EffieBlack Apr 2018 #96

Effie, I was asked to post this on your thread... sheshe2 Apr 2018 #100

I miss 1SBM ... he was a gem. Clever, witty... NurseJackie Apr 2018 #111

I miss him here, Jackie. sheshe2 Apr 2018 #112

Why did he leave? 7962 Apr 2018 #120

He was alert stalked right into 'Flagged for Review' Brother Buzz Apr 2018 #126

Experience and observation tells me that it's safer to not publicly discuss such things... NurseJackie Apr 2018 #128

He was constantly targeted, hounded and alerted on EffieBlack Apr 2018 #130

The new alert system sucks bigly. Guess he got caught up in it. Probably unfairly. 7962 Apr 2018 #137

Can I tell a story from the opposite point of view? I'm white, and used to go with my black friend LisaM Apr 2018 #101

Thank you for this op, it is very enlightening. smirkymonkey Apr 2018 #103

I am a mixed race heaven05 Apr 2018 #106

this still makes me angry azureblue Apr 2018 #107

I love that you did this, EffieBlack. calimary Apr 2018 #113

I'm half-white and I look white. My stories are about white privilege. (Bear with me.) Iggo Apr 2018 #114

My experience is a bit backasswards to others lunatica Apr 2018 #115

That's a great suggestion! EffieBlack Apr 2018 #123

Unfortunately I am not in a good position lunatica Apr 2018 #124

You seem to be a very good writer. Perhaps you could write an op-ed? EffieBlack Apr 2018 #125

I will definitely continue to speak out lunatica Apr 2018 #129

I think you should've told him it was YOUR space & who you were. 7962 Apr 2018 #117

The point of telling our stories is not to invite suggestions for what we "should" have done EffieBlack Apr 2018 #119

White supremacists would love to have my DNA catrose Apr 2018 #122

Thank you cp Apr 2018 #127

Why is it easier to assume racism... TCJ70 Apr 2018 #131

You are not following directions EffieBlack Apr 2018 #133

Im just trying to understand the racism you see in it TCJ70 Apr 2018 #135

Do you always hear hoof beats... tonedevil Apr 2018 #138

Accusations of racism are pretty serious... TCJ70 Apr 2018 #139

You need look no farther... tonedevil Apr 2018 #141

The reason I - and most other POC on this board - have no doubt that it was racism EffieBlack Apr 2018 #140

it's worse heaven05 Apr 2018 #153

Why? TCJ70 Apr 2018 #154

Understand this heaven05 Apr 2018 #155

I am in a mixed marriage pandr32 Apr 2018 #132

Wish I could share .... LenaBaby61 Apr 2018 #134

My father was a racist Wawannabe Apr 2018 #136

Thanks to those who shared, and to those who didn't, I understand caraher Apr 2018 #142

Kick EffieBlack Apr 2018 #143

Here's something that just happened this week in Grosse Pointe MI gollygee Apr 2018 #145

When I Was Five and We Drove Through Birmingham, Alabama McCamy Taylor Apr 2018 #152

This broke my heart cyclonefence Apr 2018 #156

DU of color discussing living while black curious_citizen Apr 2018 #157

wow heaven05 Apr 2018 #158

This was an important post GaryCnf Apr 2018 #159

Its my sister LittleGirl Apr 2018 #160