"But They Are Dying." Hospice physicians like me can't usually offer patients the care they need. - Slate

[TygrBright]

29. My Grandpere spent the last month or so of his life in a hospice. It was a gift to us all...

When we visited he was awake, usually alert, and the staff would fix his favorite milkshake for him. We'd sit in the lounge, if he was well enough to move, or in his room, with him. Both spaces were lovely, with sunlight, green plants, fresh flowers, comfortable chairs, etc.

He felt relaxed, even when the pain escalated, because my Granmere and the rest of us could leave the room for a few minutes while the staff would assist him with bodily functions, extra pain relief, etc. He told Granmere that he was so glad she could just be with him, and be 'hostess' for the rest of the family. There was a regular parade of visitors (he came from a large family and he and Granmere had lots of friends) and if he was 'too tired' the staff would help them figure out when to come back and find him a little perkier. I think he got to see and say farewell to almost everyone he cared about that way.

The last week or so he couldn't get out of bed at all, and couldn't talk much. But he actually smiled a lot, whenever he opened his eyes and someone he loved was there. The staff would bring him the milkshakes he loved, holding them so he could suck a few sips through a straw.

It was a terribly sad time to be losing him but I cannot imagine a better environment to take his farewell from. I still donate to that hospice and will always be grateful to them.

Civilized countries make hospice a universal benefit.

wistfully,
Bright