"But They Are Dying." Hospice physicians like me can't usually offer patients the care they need. - Slate

[Prairie_Seagull]

55. If there is a trick to get the best care one can,

the key is to be present as often as possible. Get to know the folks taking care of your loved one and genuinely (if possible) schmooze them the best you can. Only control I had.

My little sister died at 54 of something related to dementia. It is difficult to say how many times my heart was broken in two when the first words out of her mouth when seeing me when I visited was "who are you". She was a beast in life. A medic in the Air Force. She had many tales she would only tell me. No one else. So "who are you" was heartbreaking every time. I teared up once in front of her and she just simply asked why I was crying?

Flew home feeling worse than I had. Visited once a month or so until the end. My read on the hospice care in the 3 states I have experienced it. Is in the application of the law. When shit gets privatized. The downward slide begins.

My sister, in 6 months was transferred 3 times. I tried multiple times to get her to come to Wa. state. to no avail. Long story. There needs to be real advocacy training of primary care givers and grief counselors for family members. I could have used one. Probably would have turned it down but yea, could have used one.

I love and miss you sis.