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DFW

(60,336 posts)
21. If cops are administering a written English proficiency test in Washington, D.C.
Thu Apr 24, 2025, 04:50 PM
Apr 2025

They will be barring a number of Republican Senate and House members from entering their place of work.

Most of them only know Republicanese, and some of them aren't even good at that.

EXCERPTS FROM THE OFFICIAL DICTIONARY OF REPUBLICANESE

In Republicanese, many words that sound alike may be spelled differently at random. A few prominent examples:

In Republicanese, the following words may be spelled at random using any of the three ways given:

A.) Two, Too, To
B.) Their, They're, There
c.) Your, Yore, You're

The Republicanese version of Robin Hood therefore starts with "In days of you're...."

The only rule is that the correct use of them as in English is never permitted twice in a row.

Words with single letters that change meaning when that letter is doubled must never be used in correct English context. The classic example is “lose” vs. “loose.” In Republicanese, if you do not win an election, then you “loose” that election. Conversely, if your (Republicanese: you’re) belt is too tight, you need it more “lose” in order to be comfortable. Another example would be the Republicanese, “I met Donald Trump, and he was rudder than I imagined,” vs. “I grabbed the ruder and was able to steer the boat to shore.”
In English, the contraction for "it is" is written "it's." To show possession referring to something previously mentioned, one writes "its." In Republicanese, it is the other way around. Example:
English: “It's impractical for a building to have its solar panels in the basement.”
Republicanese: “Its impractical for a building to have it's solar panels in the basement.”

In Republicanese, idiomatic expressions that use words that are homonyms with animals in English must use the spelling that denotes the animal.
Three examples:
In English, when someone wins a race by a very small margin, one can say, “He won the race by a hair.” In Republicanese, one writes, “He won the race by a hare.”
In English, someone fleeing the law can be said to be on “on the lam.” In Republicanese, that is spelled “on the lamb.”
In English, when one starts to lose their voice after shouting for an extended time, one says, “he shouted himself hoarse.” In Republicanese, one writes, “He shouted himself horse.”

In Republicanese, an apostrophe is used to form a plural, whereas this is never correct in English. But it must be done at random, never systematically. For example, Bill and Hillary are "the Clinton's," but Bill, Chelsea and Hillary are "the Clintons." The other way around is also correct. In Republicanese, either form is correct as long as it is not spelled the same way twice in a row.
Example:
In English, one writes "The Clintons like dogs."
In Republicanese, this can be written as "The Clinton's like dogs," or "The Clintons like dog's" or "The Clinton's like dog's." The only version that would be incorrect in Republicanese would be to use no apostrophe at all. Only English is written that way.

In Republicanese, pronouns that are direct or indirect objects must never be used as in English when combined with another proper name, proper noun, or pronoun.
Example: in English, one says, e.g., “John went to dinner with me,” and not “John went to dinner with I.” Therefore, in English, one also says, “John went to dinner with my wife and me.” In Republicanese, while it is also correct to say, “John went to dinner with me,” it is only correct to say “John went to dinner with my wife and I.”

Recommendations

2 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Maybe if they turned off their God-Damn AM radios, they'd learn more of the truth. chouchou Apr 2025 #1
Yabbut ... whad aboud trans kids playing sports?!?! Sky Jewels Apr 2025 #5
I suppose JBTaurus83 Apr 2025 #2
Trucking volumes down 8.3% month over month... We are approaching COVID low levels in trucking. riversedge Apr 2025 #3
I drove though covid DiverDave Apr 2025 #17
Well since they voted for Trump, all I can say Dan Apr 2025 #4
'tots and 'pears for all. (n/t) Moostache Apr 2025 #27
Yes, that was true, MarineCombatEngineer Apr 2025 #6
There are a lot of truckers on DU and you've been warning us. yardwork Apr 2025 #11
A lot of them thought that Been A Dick Donald was actually going to make the economy better, MarineCombatEngineer Apr 2025 #34
I've known a lot of liberal truckers here at DU. Aristus Apr 2025 #13
Generally, it was both, MarineCombatEngineer Apr 2025 #36
I respect workers of all kinds, period. However... ananda Apr 2025 #22
Supply shortage wave will roll from LA/SFO starting about May 25, reaching NYC about June 5. Bernardo de La Paz Apr 2025 #41
Truckers, farmers, blue collar workers, etc. All used to vote for Democrats. progressoid Apr 2025 #7
Well...the "find out" portion of the proceedings should help... Moostache Apr 2025 #26
You can't un brainwash them Keepthesoulalive Apr 2025 #29
My hope is for my kid's generation. progressoid Apr 2025 #32
We not only hope for our children Keepthesoulalive Apr 2025 #35
+10000000.. GD right. Tired of this BS that Dems "can't get their message out" BS Bengus81 Apr 2025 #37
That map makes a lot of sense. Buddyzbuddy Apr 2025 #8
I'm interested in hearing more. yardwork Apr 2025 #12
I agree with your observation and opinion. Buddyzbuddy Apr 2025 #14
As a civilian driver I have always trusted and admired truckers. yardwork Apr 2025 #15
Agreed, yardwork, agreed. Buddyzbuddy Apr 2025 #40
He lied constantly to different groups Keepthesoulalive Apr 2025 #31
Have a good friend who is a long haul trucker Johnny2X2X Apr 2025 #9
Apparently, he's in the vast minority of truckers. Squaredeal Apr 2025 #33
Ignorance is bliss. republianmushroom Apr 2025 #10
Oh, that's OK. Trump has a perfect response. Ping Tung Apr 2025 #16
Then there's this. Blue Full Moon Apr 2025 #18
If cops are administering a written English proficiency test in Washington, D.C. DFW Apr 2025 #21
Absolutely Blue Full Moon Apr 2025 #23
Their kids will hopefully learn something. Crunchy Frog Apr 2025 #19
I enthusiastically support a situation in which those who most ardently supported Trump DFW Apr 2025 #20
That Map Surprises Me ProfessorGAC Apr 2025 #24
Truckers have to learn the hard way that right wing radio personalities don't really care about them DSandra Apr 2025 #25
The karma truck has pulled into the terminal. Irish_Dem Apr 2025 #28
The only reason they voted for him Diraven Apr 2025 #30
Not a single gram ILikePie92 Apr 2025 #38
True test will be if, going forward, Golden Raisin Apr 2025 #39
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