When you go into someone's house for the first time, do you notice if they have books and then what they are.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

11. Perhaps men go a bit more indirectly and read bios and histories.

Additionally I have a shelf of more philosophy / zen oriented books. Aren't a lot of self-help books a bit repetitive among themselves? Perhaps many men see self-help books as not so helpful.

Lots of men are not very introspective and not very in touch with their feelings and the feelings of others. Manly men and all that stoic rot. Stoicism is great, but without introspection and empathy it is just a wall and loses its usefulness. I was somehow able to develop introspection and empathy and avoid a lot of manly man pitfalls.

Until recently men haven't faced the same pressures women have, what with the patriarchy and all. But women entering the workforce these days have careers that weren't so readily available to them as in the past and this is layered on top of traditional roles which they accept or reject or find innovative ways to combine. Now things are bit more even, a bit, so we may see a bit more similarities. At the same time, mindsets like those of incels aren't conducive to helping themselves. Lots of men confuse rigidity for manliness.