So, my dear Hoosiers, I do believe you are getting a President.

[Bob Loblaw]

6. I was eating breakfast

After renaming all federal assets to honor Reagan they will be sold to the highest bidders. All federal agencies except the Department of God and the Department of Discrimination will be privatized because the government has no business in the others. The free press will be brought in house so the truth can be told and breast feeding even in private will be outlawed. All art will be replaced in favor of the works of Thomas Kincade and there will be two categories of music allowed, styled after either Pat or Debby Boone. Tighty whities will occupy all underwear shelves and bras will return to being pointy.

Who knows what the second week of a Pence administration will be like?