Men's Group

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)

64. Though it is obvious to me that women engage in this more, it isn't vital to this discussion.

Wed Nov 21, 2012, 10:19 PM

Nov 2012

This is the Men's Group where we discuss Men's Issues.

Here, the fact that women undermine fathers' roles by bad-mouthing, poisoning children against them and occasionally even punishing kids to get back at their husbands is the issue I have chosen to discuss.

That it occurs, often, is beyond argument. That women have more opportunity to engage in it is also beyond argument. Men are more often outside the house and, in some cultures like Japan, it is even more common than the US. The myth that men are outside the house because they WANT to be is pushed a lot but quite false in many cases.

Anyway...

We will continue with the discussion if it is quite all right with you.

Thanks for popping by.

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The Medea Complex and the Parental Alienation Syndrome [View all] Bonobo Nov 2012 OP

This happens both ways. Fridays Child Nov 2012 #1

Opportunity to do so is clearly in favor of mothers. Bonobo Nov 2012 #2

Considering that courts almost automatically give custody to the mother... TreasonousBastard Nov 2012 #4

Assuming both men and women are equally inclined to this sort of petty vengeance 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #3

My dad would have slapped me if i bad-mouthed my mother Hemp_is_good Nov 2012 #7

If mothers were as often alienated from their kids as fathers are... lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #6

Personally, I've found a lot of equal opportunity in the people I know in this spot ProudToBeBlueInRhody Nov 2012 #5

This is not a joke. redqueen Nov 2012 #8

Who said it was? 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #11

No, it isn't. On that you are correct. ElboRuum Nov 2012 #12

The 14 year old, discredited piece in your OP is broken down in my next post. redqueen Nov 2012 #18

Well, it isn't my OP... ElboRuum Nov 2012 #19

Mea culpa, I thought Bonobo had replied to me. I did pay attention to that name, redqueen Nov 2012 #20

As a rational person... ElboRuum Nov 2012 #24

Yes, of course. Any rational person would not consider this to be evidence. redqueen Nov 2012 #25

I'm only going to reply to this post. ElboRuum Nov 2012 #61

And this, too, is certainly not evidence that most high conflict divorces involve domestic violence. redqueen Nov 2012 #26

Do you really want to go there? Major Nikon Nov 2012 #29

Some more non evidence... redqueen Nov 2012 #27

See post #29 Major Nikon Nov 2012 #30

And let's have a look at the person who invented this syndrome. redqueen Nov 2012 #28

ad hominem from a clearly biased site with a competing agenda Major Nikon Nov 2012 #62

More... redqueen Nov 2012 #32

This study ONLY researched male-perpetrated domestic violence Major Nikon Nov 2012 #63

I found a way to guarantee a heads up for every flip of the coin 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #71

I took a look at the "study" Major Nikon Nov 2012 #74

Conclusion based science 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #75

And I guess these are just opinions... redqueen Nov 2012 #33

Looks more like an anecdotal appeal to emotion Major Nikon Nov 2012 #52

Another opinion redqueen Nov 2012 #34

You're spamming. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #37

My apologies for using many posts to share the evidence redqueen Nov 2012 #40

major nikon asked this; lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #42

No, it isn't possible, if his post was in response to mine. redqueen Nov 2012 #45

Sure it is. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #48

No, it isn't. It is impossible to reply to posts made by people on your ignore list. redqueen Nov 2012 #49

Coming into this group and demanding people listen to you while simultaenously complaining that they Warren DeMontague Nov 2012 #50

So you are admitting the very best evidence you have is anecdotal Major Nikon Nov 2012 #53

She can't hear you. Warren DeMontague Nov 2012 #55

I know Major Nikon Nov 2012 #57

"We do know of many documented cases . . . ." 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #60

Post removed Post removed Nov 2012 #47

Huffington Post? HUFFINGTON POST?????!?!?!?!?? Warren DeMontague Nov 2012 #51

Couldn't get past the first link. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #14

It was written by a lawyer on behalf of a battered women advocacy organization Major Nikon Nov 2012 #22

I am still quite convinced this describes a common issue. Bonobo Nov 2012 #23

Yes, people doing shitty things is very common. redqueen Nov 2012 #31

It is primarily mothers who have custody and fathers who are alienated. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #38

It is very common in families, not just divorce cases. redqueen Nov 2012 #41

Mothers are more often perpetrators of abuse and neglect. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #44

Yes, you left this part out. redqueen Nov 2012 #46

I'm not really sure how you think that helps your argument Major Nikon Nov 2012 #58

Ah yes... the excuse part. At least we now know you read the link. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #77

Though it is obvious to me that women engage in this more, it isn't vital to this discussion. Bonobo Nov 2012 #64

Where are your scientific, peer-reviewed studies proving that mothers do it more often? redqueen Nov 2012 #69

A member of a forum with over 20 banned members calls another forum 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #72

Also: scientific, peer reviewed studies regarding the patriarchy, objectification 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #76

Understanding and Collaboratively Treating Parental Alienation Syndrome redqueen Nov 2012 #9

The concept of PAS (at least Gardner's version of it) is not well accepted in the medical community Major Nikon Nov 2012 #10

Do you personally believe that this is a real occurrence? 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #13

It is real. It really does happen, and there are enough first-hand accounts to demonstrate it. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #15

"children's advocacy which is really mom's advocacy" 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #16

I think the concept is a real thing, I'm just not convinced of Gardner's version of it Major Nikon Nov 2012 #17

Agreed 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #21

The extraordinary fight over "parental alienation syndrome" and what it means for divorce cases. redqueen Nov 2012 #35

"But no hypothesis so rooted in gender bias should be credited by medical science." lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #39

Yes, the MRA spin is extremely popular all over the net. Most people don't bother to argue. redqueen Nov 2012 #43

So when the rate of incidence doesn't support your claims, you change the subject Major Nikon Nov 2012 #54

Many abusers use custody battles as way to seek control redqueen Nov 2012 #36

This is nothing more than an opinion piece disguised as journalism Major Nikon Nov 2012 #56

Here's my take: One, words like "Syndrome" are way overused. Warren DeMontague Nov 2012 #59

I completely agree... Bonobo Nov 2012 #65

Its a shame when the adults cant put their personal shit aside for the sake of the kids. Warren DeMontague Nov 2012 #66

It's not just about divorce. In fact, forget about divorce. Bonobo Nov 2012 #67

I don't know. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2012 #73

If you want to see how the smear campaign works, read this Major Nikon Nov 2012 #68

I think we should take a moment and be thankful that some forums 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #70

Parental Alienation mikejeffries Nov 2012 #78

Thank you but as far as them being "equal numbers"... Bonobo Nov 2012 #79

When people say men and women do something bad in equal numbers 4th law of robotics Nov 2012 #80

I just don't think the numbers are equal Major Nikon Nov 2012 #81

Welcome to DU! hrmjustin Nov 2012 #82