I woke up today heartbroken

[vercetti2021]

I mentioned to many that my girlfriend and I were gonna get our marriage on legal documentation on Friday. I was excited, so was she. Or so I thought she was. I got on Friday morning thinking I was about to marry someone I really loved. But last minute she bailed out because she felt it was silly to do this after all. She didn't think I was seriously wanting to do this and I was. I was 100% sure. But she wasn't. She felt in time we can when the circumstances were better.

I felt just like I had died inside. I just told her okay and hung up. My mind was just completely blank and I didn't know what to do at that point. All day I just sat in my room watching any show I've been meaning to watch and just binged. I shut my phone off, I locked my door. I didn't wanna see anyone. My momma kept asking if I was okay, so I broke down and told her the truth of what was gonna happen. Never seen her get so mad at me before saying how could I keep something like that from her and how dumb I was for jumping into such a commitment with that girl.

Needless to say my momma doesn't like her and I feel she never has. So that makes this much more worse. But now here I am after falling asleep at 8 last night trying to think how I'm gonna brave this day. But my mental health is now in a deep abyss somewhere and no idea how I'm pulling that back up now.

But just wanted everyone who was likely curious (probably not) but felt I should least express it somehow.