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Mental Health Support

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OldBaldy1701E

(8,549 posts)
Wed Nov 23, 2022, 10:21 PM Nov 2022

Ahh... another 'holiday'... [View all]

Will it be worth the moniker? Doubtful. I will be alone for much of the day, because my hubby has to work. I am becoming even more decrepit and feeble and when I see his greying hair and the way he seems so beaten down I just want to scream and destroy everything. Fuck being told that doing the right thing was the way to be. Why was I not born a complete asshole? At least I could cover my holiday blues with fake friends and partying because I would have money. But, as the saying goes: Nice guys finish last. Of course, I might add that some barely clear the starting line. Regardless, another year of being reminded that I failed and really have little to be thankful for. Before everyone flips out, Yes, I am thankful for my husband. I am thankful that, even though we live with a spoiled little rich boy, we live in a decent house (barely) and have a few crumbs of assistance to fall back on. But, it is in these moments that I have to look back and ask: Was my dream that impossible? I was not the one crowing about my supposed talents, everyone else was. Did they ALL lie? (My idea of this answer has changed somewhat of late, as I am now convinced that maybe they all did.)

Sorry, I should stop before the floodgates open. So I will say I hope everyone has a decent enough holiday, regardless of whether you participate in the actual traditions.

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