Hopefully that's not another burden on you, but the similarities to what you describe are striking.
Constant car damage.
Constant failure ON YOUR PART, while she has never done anything wrong in her life.
Much much more.
We went to *couples therapy*, the counselor had a private session with me and told me "I can tell she is lying about almost everything. I can't see this counseling helping you out at all".
So I had to file for divorce, no options, life was hell plus she was going to kill somebody with the car some day. But I was only 38 at that time. After she moved out, I went to the ATM (we had agreed to keep everything cool about money til divorce) and found out that I did not have a penny to my name. Thus began the year that I had to live on PBJ sandwiches and never have more than one light bulb on in the house, ever.
Sorry, I'm rambling, so much more to this, but the bottom line is, if she is an alcoholic, you are her victim, and she will NEVER let up on you unless she gets sober and deals with things as a sober adult.
My best buddy is in this exact same predicament right now, but lucky for him, his company paid him a huge settlement for him to train an entire department of his company with people they recruited from Mexico, so that they could move that department to Mexico, paid him his severance pay and a big bonus. It was in the 6 figures. So he just moved out of their apartment in Los Angeles, and went back to Nebraska for a while, living at his parent's house, and having a great time restoring all of his grandfather's farm tractors to showroom condition. She has been dead drunk every time he has checked in with her since. But few of us would ever get that lucky.
Otherwise, you're probably trapped right now. But if she begins to PHYSICALLY ABUSE YOU you have to get help right away, it's crucial!
Best of luck to you and, oh, by the way, I have now remained aggressively single for 34 years!
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