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In reply to the discussion: There is something that confuses me a great deal...the concept of "family." [View all]
OldBaldy1701E
(8,642 posts)71. "I don't trust anyone anymore."
Well, neither do I, and for what appears to be similar reasons.
What is the old saying? 'Fool me once, shame on you! Fool me twice, shame on me!'
I have embraced that one for a long time. Because it is true. You also sound like someone who was very used in their life and the users have the unmitigated gall to act like you are the bad person for finally standing up to it. Been there.
You are better than them, though. You are the one 'in the right' and you know this. I hope you can find some peace from all of it. I wish I could.
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There is something that confuses me a great deal...the concept of "family." [View all]
LiberalLoner
May 2025
OP
I don't believe you have any obligation to be around anyone, family or not, that mistreats you let alone abuses you.
MLAA
May 2025
#1
Thank you so much! My husband is so happy I have set boundaries and is very afraid I might let them back in. I won't.💙
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#5
Having to scapegoat somebody else terrifies them as any one of them could be "it"
SheltieLover
May 2025
#3
Thank you so so much! 💙💙💙. I think they are just angry to lose their favorite punching bag. They don't
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#6
Absolutely! And they absolutely will turn on someone else now that you've extricated yourself
SheltieLover
May 2025
#8
I hear you, LiberalLoner. And I feel/felt your pain -- especially from the guilt. But no more punching bag here either.
wordstroken
May 2025
#42
Thank you so so much! 💙💙💙💙. I will find it and read it, even if it is triggering. It might help explain why
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#14
I just bought the kindle by that author that I think will help me a lot, thanks so much! 💙💙💙I do have C-PTSD which
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#17
Absolutely it is very common for dysfunctional families to scapegoat one member.
SheltieLover
May 2025
#48
You might also enjoy looking up testimonials on You Tube regarding Internal Family Systems (re: "No Bad Parts" book)
SheltieLover
May 2025
#51
Thank you so so much. 💙💙💙 I wish you peace and safety, and all the best. 💙💙💙
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#15
That's what I always thought too, but the outcry when you go no contact is just deafening, you know? And I wonder why.
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#16
Thank you so so much! 💙💙💙💙 I stayed close to my fellow scapegoated stepsister, she is awesome.
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#26
Maybe a new definition of family would help. Perhaps it really is not defined by who you share DNA with!
Amaryllis
May 2025
#28
OMG walking on eggshells like that is classic being a scapegoat or abuse victim! You were abused too as badly as I was
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#27
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how hard it is to endure such a loss. 💙💙💙💙💙
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#32
Growing up in an abusive family, I can attest NO CONTACT is best. They rarely ever accept the
Clouds Passing
May 2025
#33
💙💙💙🤗🤗🤗. Funny thing is, they are the ones who appear, or are, "normal" to the outside world.
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#45
💙💙💙🤗🤗🤗 I mostly daydreamed about suicide every day. Thought about dashing in front of a school bus.
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#46
Life is hard, families fight...but clearly yours must have gone far past the point of deserving forgiveness
lostnfound
May 2025
#36
Thank you so much! 💙💙💙some of it is them simply not admitting, or downplaying the abuse....for example, my
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#40
A restraining order is probably most appropriate for my family of origin. Thank you so much! 💙💙💙💙
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#38
Yes, thank you...💙💙💙 I regret ever exposing my husband to my toxic family. I wish I had not.
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#41
""fambly is everything, you MUST stay close to all of us! How dare you go away?""
OldBaldy1701E
May 2025
#55
I'm sorry you had difficulties with your family. "A family who will help you grow, even when you don't want to...".
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#58
So many people mistakenly think that those who wish to "make you grow against your will"
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#59
The first poem I ever wrote. Just a rhyming couplet, not anything like a real poem, and actually I have
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#60
And not to change the subject, but just how brilliant is Mr. Copeland's work on this song? Music like this makes life
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#62
I wish you, and all the people who might read this, something infinitely nicer and better than what you wished for me.
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#63
I will say, I believe love is possible between cats and humans, and dogs and humans. I believe in the concept of love
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#64
One of the ways people tried to change me the past decade, I think, was to get me to stop giving my art away. I agreed
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#65
In case some of the people reading this are part of the bullying group that has harmed me in recent years, I should
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#67
I'm sorry, it's just that I've gone through an awful time these last few years, with two celebrities and their people
LiberalLoner
May 2025
#70
💙💙💙💙💙thank you. I am so sorry for what you've gone through and the scars you carry. It's not fair.
LiberalLoner
May 16
#72
PS. Got my second cataract surgery today. Resting at home. I am excited to see how my vision will turn out in the new
LiberalLoner
May 16
#73
I'm in a place where it feels like millions of people hate me and want me dead, and
LiberalLoner
May 17
#77