Well, after several hours of trying to find assistance for someone with mental health issues, [View all]
And who cannot pay for anything, I have turned up exactly squat.
Because they don't want to help anyone who cannot pay lots for it.
They want someone like me to die as quickly and quietly as I can. (We don't want to upset the other peons, now do we?)
I am finding it harder and harder each day to find a reason not to accommodate them.
I just checked the bank account. Not only is considering any kind of help out of the question, I guess I will have to wait for a few days to pick up that heart prescription because we can't afford it at the moment. I don't recall if I have enough to make it till then. I think I do.
Maybe I should just stop taking all of this stuff. I take ten pills each morning and eight each evening. That should do the trick, actually. When my father had to stop with this heart meds in order to have some other procedure done, he died within 24 hours of stopping them.
Because living like this is ridiculous. It becomes crystal clear why some people go on massive sprees of suicidal destruction. Why they gun down random people in the street before doing it to themselves. Why they blow themselves and others into pieces. It is the complete impotence of this position. The fact that, apparently in my case at least, there is nothing to be done. The reason why there is nothing to be done. ($$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$) And, then having to live in a society that flaunts the fact that there could be something done, but we are not going to do it for someone like you.
How can someone not give into the darkness when they find themselves in this corner?
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