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med roulette sucks, so does trying to balance the benefits and side effects. i can only imagine how it's compounded by the sleep issues and the psychological effects of the weight gain. i really porked up over the holidays and wound up in tears when i tried to buy new pass.
i don't know that i can offer you any advice that hasn't already gone through your mind, but i wish you well. iirc, you do cross fit, right? is the exercise helping at all? getting out in the sun, even to just sit for a few minutes really helps me.
be as good to yourself as you can be and remember we're here 
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