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MineralMan

(149,640 posts)
6. I find the typical funeral where a casket is present to be maudlin.
Wed Dec 5, 2018, 02:20 PM
Dec 2018

I do not attend viewings. I understand the ceremonial nature of funerals and get the concept of closure they seem to represent. They provide a finality to the passage. However, I don't find them to be comforting. I don't find them emotionally useful. When my brother died unexpectedly a couple of years ago, I attended his memorial service, and even spoke at it. That was expected of me, as the eldest sibling. It is not a role I particularly want to play, however. So I used my time to turn people's attention to their unique memories of my brother and their role in whatever immortality people have.

Unfortunately, my brief comments were followed by a lengthy, amateurish sermon by my nephew, his son. He used his time to evangelize for Jesus, despite my brother's non-belief, and then he lectured the gathering about the evils of alcohol, which was probably what destroyed my brother's liver and caused his death. It was a scolding, unsatisfactory eulogy, which upset my parents a great deal. Both of them are in their 90s, do not have any religious beliefs, and they did not wish to hear that their son's death was his own fault.

People express their grief in different ways. Many of those ways are inappropriate for public revelation. Too often, funerals become exercises in unpleasantness. That's too bad.

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