Over two years without my hubby

[Rorey]

30. For me

It's been 26 years since my guy died. I've since remarried and have been with this husband longer that I was with the one who died. For me, it's as if I'm now sort of a different person. "J" was my "soul mate". We seemed to share a brain, knowing what the other was thinking without the need to speak.

Sometimes, even after all these years, the hurt is pretty intense. The intense pain may last a few moments or a few hours and then life goes on again. I feel so lucky that I was able to have that kind of relationship with someone.... that kind of closeness. It didn't last forever, but it was amazing. I do feel fortunate that I was able to love someone and be loved by that someone. Some folks go through their whole lives and never get to have what I had.

For me, the hurt of having lost him is the price I have to pay for what I got to have. Very painful, but completely worth it. It's hard to explain, but sometimes my grief is like an old friend, as weird as that sounds.