My mom passed away last night...

[Farmer-Rick]

15. I lost my mother this August

And then my better half passed in October. I was taking care of her those last 6 months but her death from heart disease still came as a shock. She is out of pain which is very good. The arrangements were very difficult to make. We have 3 grown children that helped. If you can get someone to help you make the arrangements it helps you make rational decisions if you have someone questioning what you want to do and why.

Now that the funerals are over, it's a little easier.....not much.

I don't feel relieved that I no longer can take care of her. I'm leaving her things just as they are until after Christmas. I just can't take getting rid of them right now. And yes, losing my mother hurt in a different way than losing my father or my wife. Different relationships can cause mourning in different ways.

I feel there is a huge black hole that I am going to have to find a way to fill. I'm lucky in that I really have no financial worries so I could do most anything I wanted ...within reason and a little saving. But it doesn't feel that way.

Yes, it is very different when you have been taking care of someone and you lose them. They were in your life every day and now they are not...but time does help a little.