I'm the type of person who has always been proud to pay his income taxes.

[LuckyCharms]

Most people don't especially like paying taxes, but I kind of do. It's a cost to us because we live in society.

In a society, things that benefit us need to be paid for, because nothing comes for free.

Now, there are several tax laws that I don't particularly like, and I don't like that fact that corporations, and singular billionaires, can literally skirt paying ANY taxes if they work hard enough to find and take advantage of loop holes.

In spite of this, I've always viewed paying income taxes as my duty as a citizen. The same with voting. It's my duty and responsibility.

But now...I'm having these gnawing feelings of despair, because I feel like my income taxes are eventually finding their way into Trump's pocket, ICE bonuses, kidnappings on the street, and military equipment and personal to blow up small fishing boats.

I'm nobody, nobody in the big picture. But still, what little of it there is, it's MY money, and I don't want it to go into Trump's pockets. I don't want one cent to go to ICE so they can harass food vendors and chase scared Americans (or people of any nationality) into their homes, making them fearful to go outside again for the rest of their lives.

I'm thinking really hard, trying to figure out if I'm a hypocrite in a way, because I never felt this way when thinking about contributing to the funding of foreign wars. I don't like it, but I view it as that's "just the way it is and I have to grin and bear it".

But what is happening now feels different to me. I draw a picture in mind of my paltry sum of money getting stuffed into the suit jacket pocket of the orange one. Because that's where a lot of our taxes end up, one way or another.

In the meantime...people starve.

I know this post is a little convoluted, and some parts may be contradictory, but I can't help feeling this way. I'm having trouble expressing this entire concept without coming across as a hypocrite.

If anyone responds, please don't hit me with "but you didn't mind paying money to fund the wars in Afghanistan, Israel, etc". I know...and that's why I'm struggling with the nature of how I'm currently feeling. It's hard to put into words.

And the reason maybe why I feel like a hypocrite is...do I feel this way because the brutality is hitting too close to home now?

I'm really doing some soul searching about this all of this...